Letters Home-Vietnam 1968-1969
July 30, 1969
LZ BECKY The QuietDays
I’m sorry to report that since I came in to work as a 6-5, I can’tgive you any chilling reports, eyewitness type, of anything that goes on out inthe field. I imagine you really don’t mind too much, as I don’t, but my letterswill probably be a little drabber from now on. (I wish!)
I’m fairly amazed, but since I’ve been here the time has reallygone fast. I was sure it’d drag, but not so. You also asked me before exactlywhere I was working. Well, you might call it the “rear”, because it’s notexactly the boonies, but then again it is, because all our organic supplies areairlifted in. They call it the “Forward LZ”, because our base at Quan Loi isreally only an oversized LZ, although it’s been built into a base area. So LZBecky is my home, & it’s hard to tell whether you’re safe here or not,because there’s always the possibility of an NVA ground attack.
Well, enough of war talk. I got you CARE package on the 28th, andonce again it was a welcome sight. Now that I’m not in the field, you can make afew alterations. I really don’t need the sugar or the lemonade any more, becausewe have our own mess hall on the LZ, and they always have a good supply ofKool-Aid or Iced Tea available. Also, if you could find some, I’d like you tosend me some of that pudding in a can. I think Betty Crocker or somebody makesit, although I’m not really sure.
I also got Aunt May’s package today, so there’s another thank younote on the list. I still haven’t had a chance to drop Aunt May a quickie, buttell her to hang on, for sometime I’ll make time to write.
I’ve got another request. If you could, would it be possible tosend me a carton of cigarettes, maybe every week or so. We don’t get them asoften in Headquarters Company, so as a consequence I end up smoking Pall Mallsor Kents, neither of which appeal to anyone. You don’t have to break your necksor your wallets trying to get them to me, but just if you think of it. Okay?
We just got word today that in all probability we will be going toPhouc Vinh, probably the 1st or 2nd of August. I know how things go around here,so it may never come off, but as of now they’re pretty sure we’re going. I’mgiving you advance warning, so if it’s a little longer between letters, you’llunderstand that I’m not ailing, just awfully busy.
Drat, time for work now. Yesterday was a real hassle. Two contacts& all sorts of air moves to keep track of. Alpha Company was in contact, butno one was hurt, thank God. Love to all, & Peace toVietnam.
As I’m writing(copying) this, I realize that I really never told Mom & Dad about a lot ofthe grisly stuff that went on, so as not to worry them. The first few days wewere on Becky, we were hit with mortars and rockets almost every night. Iremember lying in my modest little hooch as a mortar round fell out in themiddle of the LZ. The head Commo Sergeant was hit and it took one of his legsand genitals away. He never cried out, or made a sound other than a moan ofpain. God, how have I come this far without something like that happening to me?But if I think about it, it surely will, so Idon’t.
August 1, 1969
Mr. Postman, isThere a Letter for Me?
Well, once again I’m afraid there’s still not a heck of a lotgoing on around. I just go from day to day trying not to think of how slow thetime’s going, pulling my 6 hours of duty & trying to pass the rest of thetime writing letters or something like that.
They’ve really changed the operation of our Battalion since I’vebeen on R&R, & it’s mainly because we’ve got a new Commander, whomnobody likes for the most part. He has all of the Companies split up working inPlatoon sized elements, about 500 m apart, which is definitely a hassle, becausewhen you get current locations from units in the field, you now have to getabout 10 or 11 different ones, instead of 3 or 4. Wow!
I’m sort of in a depressed mood lately, because I can’t get usedto not getting 4 or 5 letters every time at mail call. We get mail just aboutevery day on the LZ, but we haven’t been getting it for the last three days,which I know isn’t your fault, but today 3 bags came in & I didn’t getanything. Again, I know this isn’t your fault, because the stupid APO (Army Post Office) is probably real slow,but just the same I feel pretty down without any “sugar reports” for awhile.
(It’s hard to explain howgetting mail, or not getting it, rather, can ruin your day. It’s the only link Ihave to sanity and reality. What I’m doing ISN’T real. Right now I’m justwalking through the day keeping my head and other parts of my body down, talkingmeaningless gibberish on the radio, eating and sleeping.
I know that my faithful letter writers haven’t abandoned me, butyet there’s always the feeling that maybe something has happened to someone…I’mthinking the worst! I imagine Laura has found her “new love” by this time. I’mnot sure when that happened, and never asked, because it didn’t matter, and noone ever really volunteered the information either. I’m glad I didn’t find outabout it til I got home, or I probably would have done something irrational orstupid, and it would have made my remaining days purehell.)
We’ve got a dog that’s been hanging around our area for about 4days, & nobody knows who it belongs to. I guess it’s sort of adopted the6-5’s. We call her “Becky”, a somewhat original name, I guess.
Well, once again they’re trying to postpone our move to Phouc Vinhfor about 2 weeks, because, from all reports, the Battalion CO WANTS us to havea ground attack before we leave (geesh,“WANTS” to?) You couldn’t even find that kind of logical reasoning in aninsane asylum, I’m afraid.
It looks as though 2 things are forcing me to bring this letter toa screeching halt. First, it’s starting to rain, & second, it’s almost foodtime. So, as they say on the news, from “somewhere in Vietnam”, this is you SM6-5 sending love to all & peace to Vietnam.
August 7, 1969
GeorgeGobel
Well, here I am again on the good old 12-8AM shift, which Ithought would be good for a change, but it isn’t turning out that way. Right nowI’m dead tired, because I didn’t think about getting any sleep prior to going onduty until 10PM.
Life goes on as usual on LZ Becky, which meanseverything’s all messed up. Our move has been delayed, scheduled, and delayedagain so many times in the past few days that hardly anyone knows whether we’regoing now or not.
One of the latest words I heard is that we’re on a 6hour alert to move to An Loc, which is about 10 miles from Quan Loi. I don’tknow why they picked An Loc or anything, if it was just out of the blue, or ifthey’re having trouble up there and need reinforcement. So, the exciting tale ofStone Mountain’s move, or non move, whatever the case may be, continues to boreeveryone to death.
I wanted to ask you something about 2 weeks ago, butnot being too swift, I’ve forgotten about it. When I came back from R&R, Ihad most of my clothes sent home to you via the mails, & I was wondering ifyou had ever received them. There were 2 packages, one with a suit coat &pants, & the other had the vest to the suit, a sweater, 3 shirts, a pair ofpants, 2 ties & some cufflinks, I believe. I really would like to know ifyou ever got them, because if you didn’t, I still have the receipt & willwrite to the store to find out what the delay is. They were insured, so I reallysee no reason why they shouldn’t have gotten there by now.
It continuesto rain almost every day at one time or another here, & will continue to doso until about October, so they tell me. Everything is a big, black, muddy messon the LZ, which can’t be too healthy for everyone concerned.
Here’ssomething you won’t believe, & I find it quite hard myself to imagine thatit happened. I was on duty about 10:30, & some helicopter pilot called &said that he couldn’t land on our VIP pad because there was another bird therealready. I told him I’d find out who’s it was & check on the possibility ofhaving it moved. I asked one of the Operations Officers if they had any idea whoit was, & he casually remarked that it was George Gobel. Okay, I figuredthat might be somebody’s call sign, because they really have some weird callsigns floating around (how does “Finger Oven” sound. Yep. We’ve got a unit, ARVNtype (South Vietnamese Army) workingwith us now with that call sign.
Anyway, I was surprised when who walkedinto the TOC but George Gobel, on tour for the USO. He talked to just abouteveryone, & was talking to me & the other guy on duty with me, asking uswhat we did & where we were from, when one of our Companies called in &told us, hey, we’re in contact. Boy, what a hassle. He seemed quite involvedwith the whole thing, & listened in until we got the word that noone washurt, & they had the situation in hand. Well, so much for my daytoday.
There is one other thing I’d like to ask you, concerning packagesproceeding from your location to mine (sorta military speak, there). Now thatI’m back in semi-civilization again, there are a few things I’d like you toscrounge up for me if you could. First of all, I’d like some shower shoes (thesandal type, ya know what I mean?). Also, if you could find some cheap towels,send a couple, as we don’t get issued them as often on the LZ. Also, a can ofRight Guard or some kind of deodorant, & a bottle of after shave lotionwould help out a lot too. Well, you wanted some suggestions on what to send me,so there it is. (Strange how things change. Deodorant andafter shave were the last things on my mind in the field. Like I’m going on adate or something. HA!)
It’s about time I did some work, althoughthere really isn’t too much to do at night. There are still a few things to beput in the log book, so I guess I’ll do that & then get back to scratchingout a few more letters, including that one to Aunt May you’ve been so subtlyhinting about.
So, for now, from my corner of the world, bye for now. Love to all, & peace toVietnam.
August 11, 1969
Dreaming Home
With good intentions, I start writing, but by the time I get halfway through, it’ll probably sound like some kind of babbling, or I’ll fallasleep altogether. I’m still on the night owl shift, & today, well, it’syesterday now, and I didn’t get much sleep after I got off duty. This is mostlybecause a torrential downpour left me floating around my hooch on my airmattress.
My feeble attempts to stay dry & get some sleep were toomuch for one brain to haggle with, so, as I’ve done numerous times before in thelast 8 months, I decided to forsake the shuteye, &devise a plan to stay dry.
I was already wet anyway, & by the time Ihad bailed myself out, it stopped raining. Curses! My efforts were in vain. Bythis time, the mail came, so I struggled out to get my one letter fromLaura.
The one big drawback to working on the LZ is that I only get, onthe average, two letters a day, so it isn’t as exciting as when I was out in thefield, getting 6 or 7 letters every log day. Don’t get me wrong, I still diggetting any sort of mail, so don’t think I’m not grateful.
Don’t tellSpotty, but I have a kitten sleeping in my lap, a black cat at that. (Excuse therhyme) He was picked up by one of the Companies out in the field after they hadswept through a bunker complex, so I guess you could call him an NVA cat. Thepoor thing has no tail, & his right foot has either been cut or bitten off,but he’s still a “pretty cool cat” (WOW!)
I suppose everyone’s in a biguproar because of the rumor that there might be the possibility of a furtherwithdrawal of 100,000 troops by the end of the year. Well, to dispel all rumors,you-know-what would have to freeze over before the 1st Cav would be pulled out.In fact, General Abrams was once heard to remark that it would, in fact, have tosnow in Vietnam before the Cav would be pulled out. It won’t be long now,anyhow.
There’s still now word yet on our proposed move, whether it be AnLoc, Phouc Vinh, or Hanoi. You’d think being in the middle of things, I’d beable to get the inside scoop on anything at Battalion level. However, I’m noteven too sure that the Battalion Commander knows for sure what’s going on. So, Iguess all there is to do is wait & see, & meanwhile get wet & muddyalmost every day.
Oh, by the way, I just came up with another smashingidea for a CARE package item. How’s a flashlight & about 6 “D” batteriessound? That’s just a suggestion now. Also, if possible, send the batteries outof the flashlight, & try to put them in some kind of protection, becausethey sometimes tend to get corroded in transit.
It’s about time to do myhourly duty again, “bookwork-wise”. I’ll be leaving the net. Say “hi” toeveryone, & tell them I’m okay. See you later.
August 15, 1969
Becky and the Flight toIke
It’s been acouple of days now since I’ve last written; a couple of days I’d just as soonforget altogether. One of the big reasons I haven’t written is because we’vebeen moved from LZ Becky, finally, to LZ Ike, which is 10k farther south, &about 5k from LZ St. Barbara.
Everyone said it was a tactical move, but Ithink they really know better. You see, we got hit by rockets & mortars 2nights in a row, on the 12th & 13th, and the reason we moved was because wegot beat, & beat badly. So they decided to move us before we got completelyoverrun. The first night we had 5 killed & 15 wounded, while the bad guysonly lost 3 dead. Next night we had 14 killed, & found 1 dead NVA and a POW.We also had 30 wounded.
From the information the POW gave, there were 750gooks waiting to attack us after the mortar & rocket barrage started, butour gunships & direct fire artillery killed or wounded all of the majorassault Company, approximately 60 men, so they decided not to attack. Theyprobably could’ve done us a job if they knew how badly they hurt us with their107’s, 122’s, & 82’s (107 & 122are rockets, and 82’s are mortars, in MM), but thank God theircommunications aren’t too good.
Of course, I was on duty both nights,& in the interim got no sleep. By the end of the second round, I waspractically delirious & ready to collapse. I found the way to my hooch at8AM, & collapsed, until 8:15 anyway, when somebody woke me up & told meto start packing, we were moving to LZ Ike. Okay, so pack I do, then help takedown all our antennas & pack all the commo equipment up, help load them onthe helicopter, unload them at Ike, & put up some antennas to reestablishcommo. Then I had to find a place to sleep, build a hooch with 2 layers ofsandbags, & when all was done, go on duty again at midnight.
To topit all off, there was no roof on the TOC here, & true to form it startedraining, so, without any cover, I got soaked. Things still haven’t gotten backto normal, & won’t for awhile, I’m afraid, so it’ll be little sleep &lotsa work for a few more days. Phouc Vinh never looked so far away!
Youasked if your package arrived intact. Yep, it did, nothing was even dented.Another suggestion: how about some of that “Jiffy Pop”, where all you have to dois heat it up. Okay? Also, I’m still kinda worried about the two packages ofclothes that I sent you from Australia. I asked you about them before, but Iguess that letter hasn’t reached me yet. So, I’ll ask again, because if you sayyou haven’t gotten them yet, I can write the store & find out what’s up (Incase you’re sitting on the edge of your seat wondering whether the clothes evermade it home, I don’t remember!!!).
As far as my camera’s concerned, Ireally don’t know if it’s still operational or not. I did take some pictures onR&R, but I sent them to Hawaii to be processed, since I had one of thosemailers, & I figured I might as well use it. I have taken half another roll,so when that’s complete, I’ll send it along & we’ll see if any of the shotscome out at all. The roll is mostly pictures of the guys I work with in candidposes around LZ Becky, plus a few of Quan Loi, I believe.
Well, I got theexpected result to the letter I wrote to Laura about R&R. I though I triedto mellow it as much as possible, but she refused to comment, because she saidshe’d only get mad all over again. I also got your letter in answer to my pleafor help, but as I prophesied, it was late, & “the damage” had already beendone. What was I expected to do on R&R, brood over what a miserable time Iwas having in my first week away from Vietnam in 6 ½ months?
Gotta gofeed my face for awhile, and then try to write another consoling letter toLaura. My best to everyone, & let’s hope things get back almost to normalshortly. Almost under the 100 mark (days left).
I did not realize or remember, like a baddream cast off into oblivion, the severity of the attacks on Becky until Augustof last year (2004). Since my tour ended, I have never heard from, nor have Isought out, any of my fellow soldiers from any duty that I had while I was inthe Army. Then, all of a sudden, for some reason, last August, I was drawn to anMSN chat group from the 2/8 Cav. I signed up reluctantly, thinking that all I’dsee or hear was a bunch of tall tales from those who were in our unit. Thatwasn’t so far from the truth. But between August 9th and 14th, there was anincreased activity on the site, like all of us were reaching out to grasp whathad happened. I admit that I was not in the best of moods during that time,reluctantly dwelling on what had happened, and how absolutely horrific those twonights had been. Was I scared? I guess, but at the time, I was so wrapped up inmy duties of maintaining and coordinating communications for helicopters, ourunits in the field, gun ships, air strikes and the like, I never thought aboutit. Our TOC was a very secure structure, with I don’t know how many layers ofsteel and sandbags, and an RPG fence about 30 feet high around it (to repel anyrockets that were aimed at the building).
The shelling wasvery intense, to the point where the fence was completely annihilated by rocketfire, and a rocket hit above my head, shattering a wooden support beam andsending it down on me and my thick head (helmet covered, of course). For this, Igot an ARCOM with V device (Army Commendation Medal). I have long since tossedthe citation that accompanied it, embarrassed to think that I was rewarded forbravery, when so many others had given their lives, limbs, or whatever.
In the scramble toleave Becky, and set up new HQ on LZ Ike, I never got to reflect on what ahorrible time that was until last year when we all started to gravitate togetherto relive it. I remember now standing on LZ Ike and watching wave after wave ofjet fighters bombing and dropping napalm on the former site of Becky.
A party from myformer Company was dispatched back there about 2 days later to doreconnaissance, and they reported that the NVA had hung a huge tarp over theformer TOC with the words, “Yankee Go Home”. I felt as sick to my stomach as Iever had or probably have been since. How could a bunch of ill equipped forcesthat had probably walked all the way from North Vietnam to South Vietnam on theHo Chi Minh trail be so organized and effective? I really don’t know whether Ishould press on with this. I really feel unworthy to be sitting here typing thiswith both hands and all my limbs and faculties intact, when so many who werelost or maimed will never have the opportunity to do this.
I guess I do it morein their memory than for my own, and for the family, loved ones and friends whono doubt suffered as much or more than I did during my absence. Imagine thinkingthat the letter just received may be the last one you ever get, or peering outthe window at each car that drives down the street, watching to see if it has USArmy written on it. Has it slowed down in front of the house? Is it stopping?Why? I’m sorry, Mom & Dad, Laura, and all of you, for being so selfish &self centered to never have thought til now of the anguish you were feeling.
I’mSORRY!!
I suppose everyone who has ever had a life changing experience longs to write the Great American novel someday. Although I always counted myself among those, my simple intent here was basically to chronicle my letters home to my parents for my contemporaries, descendants, and friends. Realize that reading and recreating these letters is a joyful/painful experience. What happened some 40 years ago is still very fresh in my mind. I marvel at the fact that Mom (who passed away in 2000) kept every scrap of paper that I ever sent in perfect order and condition.
Death was foreign to me until 1968. Oh, sure, relatives had died, but I had never experienced death firsthand, watching someone slip away, crossing over from a vibrant, living, breathing human being into a lifeless non-person. Between 1968 and 1969 I saw death first hand, and it impressed me as a definite transition to something else, somewhere else maybe. I would not really know it until 2000, when I spent two agonizing days watching Mom slip away, but there is a certain look of peace about those who are about to die. I saw it on the faces of many of my fellow soldiers, but didn’t realize what the whole thing meant until I spent the last hours of my mother’s life watching peace and tranquility come over her. She had struggled with a large aneurysm for two years, knowing that she was going to die. These men were taken suddenly, unexpectedly, and their initial feelings were shock and disbelief,fear of the unknown. But as they too slipped away, I saw that same look of peace and tranquility. Rest in peace, my friends. Most writings I have experienced about the Vietnam War to date are oriented towards the unfairness, the futility, and the hopelessness of what the United States was trying to accomplish in Southeast Asia. I, too, felt that many times during my 12 months there, but I always felt if I dwelled on the horrible situation I was in, I would probably never make it back home. It was my constant goal over those long twelve months to make it home, to continue my life, wherever it would lead me.
It is my hope that by reading these narratives from a lonely boy far away from home, that my contemporaries, my children, my grandchildren, and future generations might get a small sense of what survival is, what the love of a family can accomplish in the most desolate, desperate, lonely times.
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I was in Bravo Co. 2/8th and I remember walking on to LZ Becky a few days after we abandoned it. There were white sheets hung on the RPG fence surrounding the TOC with the written sign saying "Peace in Vietnam, Bring the GIs Home!" Now the spelling was not perfect but we agreed with the idea! GFB
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I think I know this guy Don Bishop would you give him my email address & tell him to email me?
Keith G.
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I survived Becky. I had 3 weeks in country, 1 week in the field. What an introduction. It made for a very long year. I had a lot of friends who were at Woodstock, which happened at the exact same time. They had a more enjoyable week than I did. I'd like to from anyone else that experienced those nasty nights.
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